MAUI - On the morning of September 14th, 2010, 11 men and women (and 2 dogs) are gathered at Mala boat ramp in Lahaina, Maui awaiting the departure of the 25 foot Aloha Kai. The destination of this small vessel is a deserted resort that lies on the island of Lanai, just over 5 miles away. The crew of Maui residents has assembled at this small boat launch bringing with them food, tents, clothes, and a generous supply of alcoholic beverages. All those involved are prepared for an overnight adventure in a deserted tropical paradise to honor the recent birthday of Greg “Stubbs” Wales, the organizer of this truly epic journey. As the gear is loaded aboard and the boat is put in the water the team readies themselves for what is in store. Then, at 10:00 am, they are underway, headed to Club Lanai. This is their story.

The trip to Club Lanai took us across 5 miles of open water between the islands of Maui and Lanai. The water was relatively calm which was a definite benefit considering the small craft was at the limits of is capacity. The journey was breathtaking to say the least, traversing one of the most beautiful interisland channels in the world. Upon arrival we found an old but relatively stout dock, once used to dock large pontoon boats full of tourists out for a day of a remote island adventure. The dock was around 100 meters long reaching out over the shallow reef that bordered the island into slightly deeper water. The campsite was another 200 meters down the beach making for quite a trek carrying the hundreds of pounds of coolers and gear over an unkempt mess of sand and palm fronds and razor sharp Keawae. Once the last of the gear was safely on shore, it was time to set up camp.

Each group of campers staked their own claim at Club Lanai. One tent on the beach, another in the shade, and yet another underneath an old gazebo-like structure left over from the resort’s heyday. Once everyone had found their cabanas it was time to get down to the serious business of fun. Coolers were opened, rafts were inflated and coconuts were hacked open. (When surviving in a hostile environment it is essential to stay hydrated and coconuts are an excellent source of water. When mixed with ice and vodka in the correct proportion, this concoction can be a life saver.) The captain of the boat, Lee, had come prepared bringing not only horseshoes but a football and dive gear as well. As we entered the afternoon hours, groups formed around the different resort activities. Some decided to hit the beach while others opted to explore the awesomely creepy abandoned resort.

The resort had been deserted since the 1980’s when the owner decided to strike up a feud with the only shuttle company on the island of Lanai. Due to the remote location of the resort and the lack of boat or bus transportation, Club Lanai quickly went belly up and has remained unchanged since. A dozen old ramshackle buildings line the beach all covered in forest green paint that is peeling and chipping after years of neglect. Palm fronds and coconuts cover almost every square inch of property except in a few areas where previous adventurers had cleared paths. The atmosphere at Club Lanai was amazing and resembled a scene straight out of a horror movie.

As the team members settled into their afternoon activities of choice, a few of us decided to brave the long swim out to the reef for some spear fishing. We were led by Captain Lee, who happened to be a snorkel tour guide in his spare time. After swimming for what seemed like eternity we reached the untouched coral reef and decided to do some fishing. Since I had a camera instead of a spear, I decided to get some footage of the hunt for dinner. After an hour or so of fishing, and with little to show for our efforts, we made the long swim back to camp to relax before dinner. No sushi to accompany our hotdogs.

As the sun set over the Hawaiian Islands, we dined on hotdogs and baked beans cooked over an open flame. The crew gathered around the campfire, telling stories, drinking beer, just enjoying each other and the moment itself. Looking around, I realized that we were the only ones on this beach and we had this unbelievable piece of paradise all to ourselves, crazy! Before I could get all misty eyed it was dark and time to explore the nightlife at Club Lanai.

One of the benefits of traveling with such an expert crew is the attention to unexpected yet essential supplies that you yourself would have never thought to bring. For example, a large cardboard tube filled with hundreds of glow in the dark necklaces and bracelets. I would have never thought to bring something like that with me, but without it midnight hide and go seek would have been nearly impossible. As the night wore on, the games get a little less organized and the crew gets a little rowdier. Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, the last of the group finds their bed. Some make it to their tents, some don’t. I managed to locate a large blanket and, since I had neglected to bring any type of shelter, I curled up in the sand for a slumber under the stars. After just a few hours I felt a bit warm and tossed off my blanket to reveal a sunrise that defies all words. Good morning.

I dozed off once again and awoke a few hours later, feeling a bit less than stellar. As I wondered into camp to survey the damage, it was clear we had been attacked in the night. Rumors abound of local island inhabitants called Menehune. These Menehune are tiny people, no more than a few feet tall that terrorize intruders to their land in the dead of night. Legend has it; the Menehunes are very illusive and prone to tricks and practical jokery. Judging by the look of the camp, the Menehune had been busy the night before, destroying tents, looting, and spreading beer cans everywhere. It took the crew and I quite some time to clean up the mess but eventually the garbage was in the bags and we packed up our gear and headed to the waiting boat, everyone in a bit of a daze.

Much was discussed on the boat ride home. Some of us had to go to work, others weren’t ready to end the party and still others were headed to another beach having not yet had their fill of sunshine. Captain Lee was nice enough to stop the boat halfway for an open water swim. The open water swim is an exhilarating experience and really puts the vastness of the ocean into real perspective. Swimming in hundreds of feet of water with nothing around but a tiny boat is a truly epic experience, and a fitting end to a truly epic trip. For those of you heading to Hawaii with the hopes of making this pilgrimage I offer this apology: This trip is not on any tour and cannot be easily taken. Furthermore, I have put all the info in this article that I am comfortable disclosing. I felt the need to chronicle this trip because I believe it embodies everything that traveling represents, but due to the hazards of the journey, I cannot give out any further assistance. I wish all you true travelers the best of luck, and I hope that just knowing a place like this exists will motivate you to go out and find your own private paradise.